This past week I have been contemplating what we knew when this cancer journey started nine months ago and what we didn't. I thought about what I read and learned in those first few days and weeks. The stuff I researched as the months wore on and we had more information and new information. The stuff the websites warned us about. What the "cancer-diagnosis" books told us to expect and cautioned us about.
And I thought about what none of them told us.
These are a few of the things they don't tell you. (And these are from my perspective of how I feel and how I imagine my mommy feels)
1. The treatment will be more painful than the cancer.
2. You will begin to fear being treatment-sick more than becoming more cancer-sick.
3. There will be days when you lose track of all the pills.
4. Caloric intake will be measured by hundreds of calories instead of thousands. And your nurse will be glad if you keep about 300 calories down a day.
5. Emotions will be a little uncontrollable.
6. Cancer stresses relationships. More than you think it will.
7. Your feelings will get hurt when it seems like everyone has forgotten.
8. People stop wanting to hear about it.
9. You stop wanting to detail it all out - the changes in treatment, the symptoms, the current prognosis.
10. You'll vascillate between trusting God completely and wondering if you are forgotten by Him.
11. You'll learn to hold fast and tight to His promises (and sometimes you'll remind Him that He promised and He can't take any of them back!)
12. A certain worship song or Bible verse will send you into fits of tears.
"Cancer changes your life, often for the better. You learn what's important, you learn to prioritize, and you learn not to waste your time. You tell people you love them. My friend Gilda Radner (who died of ovarian cancer in 1989 at age 42) used to say, 'If it wasn't for the downside, having cancer would be the best thing and everyone would want it.' That's true. If it wasn't for the downside."
Joel Siegel, Good Morning America
What an amazing post. I'm praying that you and your mom and your entire family will come to the end of the 'things they don't tell you' experience sooner than later.
ReplyDeletetrue words, big sis. it's weird because you feel hurt when people don't ask, but at the same time you're just tired of talking about it. especially during the slower times like now when not everything is changing every day. oh well. at least we're all doing it together. love you.
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