Born to Die

It's 1:40am on Christmas Eve and the sisters are tucked into bed and I am lying here thinking about the One who was born to die so I could ask Him to change my life.

Happy birthday, Jesus!! (even though You were most likely born in April)

And Merry Christmas everyone else! I hope you are as surrounded by love and affection as I have been this past week. I pray you know the Savior's love and sense the depth of it this coming year.

Good Ole Rich

Rich Mullins was one of the most talented songwriters that ever walked this planet. He was able to capture the majesty of God in his lyrics unlike anyone else I have heard before or since. His melodies capture your heart. His anthems stir your soul.

His songs have often accompanied major life moments - or "jumps" as David Wenzel call them. Those defining moments wherein your life is forever changed. This evening, as we stand, sit and sleep our way into tomorrow I feel we are on the verge. We are facing a jump. We don't know what tomorrow holds. But we are on the precipice.

My song for this week is "Verge of a Miracle." We are standing here waiting to see what tomorrow will bring. I am trusting in the One who holds the future. He is fully able and willing to act on our behalf and bring a miracle.

CHORUS: 

You're on the verge of a miracle 

Standing there 

Oh you're on the verge of a miracle 

Just waiting to be believed in 

Open your eyes and see 

You're on the verge of a miracle

Here in your room 

Where nobody can see 

Voices are loud 

But seldom clear 

But beneath the confusion 

That's running so deep 

There is a promise you must hear 

The love that seems so far away 

Is standing very near

CHORUS

When you've played out 
Your last chance 
And your directions 
Have all been lost 
When the roads that you look down
Are all dead ends
Look up
You could see if you'd just look up

Joel 2:18-32

18Then the LORD will be zealous for His land

And will have pity on His people.

19The LORD will answer and say to His people,

"Behold, I am going to send you grain, new wine and oil,

And you will be satisfied in full with them;

And I will never again make you a reproach among the nations.

20"But I will remove the northern army far from you,

And I will drive it into a parched and desolate land,

And its vanguard into the eastern sea,

And its rear guard into the western sea

And its stench will arise and its foul smell will come up,

For it has done great things."

21Do not fear, O land, rejoice and be glad,

For the LORD has done great things.

22Do not fear, beasts of the field,

For the pastures of the wilderness have turned green,

For the tree has borne its fruit,

The fig tree and the vine have yielded in full.

23So rejoice, O sons of Zion,

And be glad in the LORD your God;

For He has given you the early rain for your vindication

And He has poured down for you the rain,

The early and latter rain as before.

24The threshing floors will be full of grain,

And the vats will overflow with the new wine and oil.

25"Then I will make up to you for the years

That the swarming locust has eaten,

The creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust,

My great army which I sent among you.

26"You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied

And praise the name of the LORD your God,

Who has dealt wondrously with you;

Then My people will never be put to shame.

27"Thus you will know that I am in the midst of Israel,

And that I am the LORD your God,

And there is no other;

And My people will never be put to shame.

The Promise of the Spirit

28"It will come about after this

That I will pour out My Spirit on all mankind;

And your sons and daughters will prophesy,

Your old men will dream dreams,

Your young men will see visions.

29"Even on the male and female servants

I will pour out My Spirit in those days.

The Day of the LORD

30"I will display wonders in the sky and on the earth,

Blood, fire and columns of smoke.

31"The sun will be turned into darkness

And the moon into blood

Before the great and awesome day of the LORD comes.

32"And it will come about that whoever calls on the name of the LORD

Will be delivered;

For on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem

There will be those who escape,

As the LORD has said,

Even among the survivors whom the LORD calls.

Our Favorite Things

Today is my Mommy's birthday. Yes, in light of all that has been going on for the last 5 or 6 weeks, I feel this one should be a monumental post, but instead, I just want to share some of our favorite things.

We both love Christmas lights in the house. We like watching movies together - especially with Christmas lights on in the house! She and I share a love of reading murder mysteries and just reading period!

One of my most favorite memories is of us driving through the back roads of Homestead & Redlands looking at homes we loved as the rain came down. I felt so safe in the car and I was so excited to see what the future held. It was cozy as we drove along admiring homes and singing songs.

She instilled in me a heart for hospitality and entertaining. She created a love of crafting and decorating in me. There is no event too small for a party and no amount of people too large that we can't invite them to join us in celebrating.

We love fun things and getting people presents just because, like my middle of December gift I just got from her yesterday. And that just reminds me that I'm her favorite :)

Most of all, we share a love of our most favorite thing - Jesus. May the Lord's grace and peace strengthen and comfort you today. May He pour out His love in every way today.

I love you Mommy! Happy birthday!!!

The Best Big Sister

Twenty-six and a half years ago I was born and I inherited the best big sister.

Jenni is turning TWENTY-NINE today.

Jenni, thank you for loving me. You are the best. You bring a smile to both my face and Earl's face. You shine and you sparkle. You are beautiful, kind, loving, and generous. You are gracious. You are an example of Christ's love to all you come in contact with.

We love you and wish we could be with you today, but know that we are so excited to see you next week!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Operation Christmas Child

A little while ago Mommy said that cancer wasn't going to define her, so in honor of that statement, I am going to post some non-cancer things.

Today at work we did something so cool. I have participated in Operation Christmas Child for about 12 years. Whether at school or through church, every November/December we gathered our shoeboxes and stuffed them full of goodies and then sent them off to be distributed. Today, we arrived at one of six distribution centers in the US and helped sort through the boxes and prepared them for shipment via plane, boat, train, canoe, bike, and camel.

They have scheduled 400 volunteers each hour from the morning until 10pm at night. Since Monday of last week this distribution center boxed and shipped over 400,000 boxes. They are expecting 8,000,000 boxes to go out worldwide this year! We were put through an orientation and got to see how the boxes are brought in, sorted and filled to the brim and then packaged for shipment. It was truly incredible.

We were put in charge filling the candy baggies to be put in each box. We also filled boxes with shoes, socks, pouches and toys. I have included a few pictures (we weren't allowed to bring in purses or use our phones on the distribution lines) I managed to sneak during the candy bagging time.

One of the coolest things was that we stopped every hour and laid hands on the boxes, candy, etc and prayed over who was going to receive the boxes and the gifts the boxes would bring. One thing a pastor prayed was that while they would find gifts inside, he prayed for the children also to find hope, encouragement, strength, love, joy, peace in the boxes. That these boxes would provide those words in reality to the children.

One great story was of a kid who received a box and told them he didn't want it. They asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he said a family. Then told him they couldn't give him that, but would he please take the box. In the box was a picture of a couple and their address on the back. They began corresponding with him and have since adopted him. He did indeed get what he wanted that Christmas.

Just What the Doctor Ordered

Tonight when I got home from work I was feeling funny.

I tried to get it out and explain it to Earl.

"See, I think about it all the time. I just think about the exact same things. I have nothing new to think about. No new ideas. I think through the options, statistics, promises of God - over and over in my brain. I just need a good laugh."

Not even twenty minutes later there was a knock at the door and Earl said, "It looks like Ali."  Sure enough, my sweet, wonderful friend came by on her way home from work to say hi.

Now, if there is anyone who can make me smile and laugh, Ali can. She is bubbly, caring, fun, full of faith. She listened and asked questions and when she could see I needed a break, she changed the subject to something else. She left me a card that was full of concern, love and sweetness.

The Lord heard my cry - my desire - and brought it to me tonight. He has been confirming to me that He hears me, knows my heart - the aches, the desires - and He is moved with compassion to act.

Christmas Lists

Didn't I already mention Christmas lists???

Last one, I promise!

This thing is just too cool!!! The Flip Camera

Our Help, Our Hope, Our Refuge

God is our Refuge and Strength. A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains carried into the midst of the sea; Though it's waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling. There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, The Holy Place of the tabernacle of the Most High. GOD IS IN THE MIDST OF HER, SHE SHALL NOT BE MOVED; GOD SHALL HELP HER, just at the break of dawn ... The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our Refuge.
Psalm 46

Mountain Top to the Valley

This weekend was a mountain top for our family.

Please continue to pray for us. I know the enemy loves to steal, kill and destroy all that God accomplished and built up in our hearts.

Pray for protection, peace. For additional encouragement from the Lord. Pray for all of us to rest in the Lord and trust Him in all things.

Yea though I walk through the valley, I will fear no evil; for You are with me.

Living and Loving

We came home to discover that my Mac is about to die. It was struggling before, but now it is almost done and dead. We are doing some research and will probably buy a PC so I can use it for some work stuff too and because it will be SO much cheaper than purchasing another Mac. I didn't take a lot of pictures on this trip and I can't load the pictures from the other cameras because my CD drive stopped working altogether while we were gone, so I have included a few pictures from my camera - which it turns out is missing a lot of stuff.

This was a great trip. It did me a lot of good to see the family and my mommy. We were so blessed to be there with everyone giving thanks to God for His abundance in our lives. He is truly merciful and gracious towards us in all things. And for everything He does, we praise His name. I have started (and am almost finished) reading "Don't Waste Your Life" by Katherine's new pastor: John Piper. This book is challenging, convicting and encouraging. I am loving every word and I told Earl it was worth every penny. In the chapter titled Magnifying Christ Through Pain and Death, Piper states,

What a tragic waste when people turn away from the Calvary road of love and suffering. All the riches of the glory of God in Christ are on that road. All the sweetest fellowship with Jesus is there. All the treasures of assurance. All the ecstasies of joy. All the clearest sightings of eternity. All the noblest camaraderie. All the humblest affections. All the most tender acts of forgiving kindness. All the deepest discoveries of God's Word. All the most earnest prayers. They are all on the Calvary road where Jesus walks with His people. Take up your cross and follow Jesus. On this road, and this road alone, life is Christ and death is gain. Life on every other road is wasted. 

Even as we walk on this road, I see such greatness around us. How we still laugh as a family. How we plan parties and cook for forty. How we hug and love and live each day. The few pictures I chose to put up on this post were some that show how great our family lives and loves in the midst of storms that surround us.

Safe and Sound

Yesterday morning came fast at 5am and Earl and I were on our way. After a strange cab ride complete with him sharing that his girlfriend is currently incarcerated after her FIFTH DUI!!!, we were through check-in and security line in less than 15 minutes. We loaded the plane and discovered we had an empty seat next to us. Katherine scooped us up from the Minneapolis airport and we began our drive north. The border patrol didn't even look at our passports (we think it's because Katherine's car has Ontario plates) and by 10:30pm we were in the house giving and getting hugs and gumbo from Grandma. One of the easiest travel days ever.

Today we are going to be doing Thanksgiving preparations - cooking, crafting and shopping. Everyone is still sleeping (except for those who are off to school and work), so I am going to use this opportunity to grab a shower before everyone gets going.

PS - I also have to say that I could not ask for a better husband. He makes being married easy. And I love him!

Overwhelmed By Goodness

Over the past week and a half I have gotten messages from friends from Miami, Southern California, Seattle, New York, Austin, New Orleans, Germany, Tennessee. I have been overwhelmed by the love and support we as a family have received. It has been a difficult road for me. Being so far away has not been easy. Earl and I are getting ready to leave on Tuesday morning. It will be so nice to have my family an arms distance away instead of a couple thousand miles away. 

Thank you to everyone has prayed, shared scriptures and songs, sent well wishes and encouraged us as we walk this path.

We give glory to God and look to Him to continue to supply strength, peace and comfort.

Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 1 Peter 4:12-13

Strengthened

Today I woke up shortly before 7am and headed out to the Saturday run with the OC Rescue Mission group.  We have officially named ourselves "Hope's Heroes: Gunnar's Runners."  Today we were finishing up week two, which consisted of ten minutes running, five minutes walking, and repeat. I started out with Linda and we got a fast pace going. We both pushed each other and were strengthened by each other's presence to run faster than we had been going. I have been strengthened by the prayers of those who have come alongside our family and been holding up our arms.

What a difference between Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and yesterday and today. I feel so strong and full of hope. When we first found out that something was seriously wrong, I couldn't even bring myself to tell Katherine that I thought it was going to be okay, so I said "Earl says she'll be fine." Which he did say and still believes, but I was so scared that I couldn't put those words together for myself. Today, I say she is going to be fine and it's going to be okay.

Yesterday I decided I wanted to read Jeremiah 31. I had read a verse somewhere else from the chapter that encouraged me, but I hadn't read the whole chapter, so I opened up my Bible and read.

Thus says the Lord:

"The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness-Israel, when I went to give him rest."

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt, o virgin of Israel! You shall again be adorned with your tambourines, and shall go forth in the dances of those who rejoice. You shall yet plant vines on the mountains of Samaria; the planters shall plant and eat them as ordinary food."

For the Lord has redeemed Jacob, and ransomed him from the hand of one stronger than he. Therefore they shall come and sing in the height of Zion, streaming to the goodness of the Lord-for wheat and new wine and oil, for the young of the flock and the herd; their souls shall be like a well-watered garden, and they shall sorrow no more at all.

And on and on. The whole chapter is so incredible. The Lord is faithful! Today I read Lamentations 3-5 - when I saw this on my reading plan, I was like "Great, Lamentations. Doom and gloom!" but I was so blessed.

Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassion fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I hope in Him!" For the Lord will not cast off forever. Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies.

Lamentations 3:22-24, 31-32

Mighty to Save

Phew. Today was hard. Harder than yesterday in some ways. I found myself uncontrollably sobbing at different times throughout the day. But I also experienced some incredible moments of peace. This is not "easy." 

Today my mom had a MRI of her brain done. We do not have those results nor do we expect to see anything there that shouldn't be there, but this was done so that we won't be surprised. When they did the MRI of her face/throat they saw the bottom part of her brain and did not see anything there. 

They also met with the oncologist today to begin formulating our plan of attack. There are tentative plans for about 7 weeks of radiation - again depending on the pathology. 

They are going to do a bone scan tomorrow. They do not believe the "cancer" has spread anywhere else, but this is precautionary and to make sure we have all the bases covered. 

Finally, I wanted to share some of the blessings I see already. 

• Number one, my mom lives in Canada and *recently* got her residents card allowing her to receive the national healthcare. None of these expenses are coming out of pocket. This is a huge incredible blessing.
• Secondly, the doctor treating my mom who initialing sent her to the hospital is the father of one of Katherine's high school friends. This has been a blessing because things started moving fast.
• Thirdly, God has kept the momentum going - they are receiving bone scans, MRIs, oncology appointments etc MUCH faster than is typical.

I am thankful and blessed by my husband who has been an immeasurable support for me. For my work and how they have been so kind. For my friends who have sent songs, scriptures, words of comfort and encouragement. The Lord is so faithful to supply ALL our needs. I am thankful for technology and the resources to use the technology when I need to. I am grateful for the Lord. For His word. For His peace, comfort, compassion, grace and mercy. I know He has never given me more than I can handle. I know He has been preparing me for this and He daily provides the measure of strength I need. He is the all sufficient One. 

The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with singing. Zeph 3:17

My people shall be satisfied with My goodness, saith the Lord. Jer 31:14

Jehovah

Post-Biopsy

I am attaching the latest information from Tony (a few hours old, but the same main information).  First I need to say that I am so grateful for Tony. I am so glad that he is in our lives and holding our family together through this. So so grateful for him. Tony, thank you for everything you have done and everything you continue to do. We are praying for you constantly.

Beth had the exploratory surgery (biopsy) today around noon.  She was in the operating room about two hours.

There is a tumor in her throat and neck.  It is a large, irregularly shaped mass that spans from one side to the other.  We will not know what type of tumor it is until we get back the results of the biopsy.  We do not know how long that will take.  The doctor said it may take weeks.

He said the tumor could be benign...but it could be cancer.   He said the tumor is inoperable because of how it is spread out.  He said if the biopsy comes back negative (not cancer), he will do another biopsy, taking larger samples.  He said, if it came back negative again, he would then remove a larger lump from the tumor and do yet another biopsy.

He said if it cancer... it could be one of several types.  He said, of the types of cancer it could be, lymphoma would be most responsive to treatment... but he does not yet know if it is cancer... or, if it is
cancer, what type.

He said, if it is cancer, he will recommend an aggressive treatment with radiation and/or chemotherapy... depending on the type... and he said he has seen tumors like this respond to treatment... that is, he spoke of a
recent patient with a lymphoma whose tumor was shrunken by treatment.  But again, we don't know it is lymphoma, or even if it is cancer.

Beth was in a lot of pain when she woke up, as they took many samples from her throat, tonsils, etc.  She was, however, communicating a lot with Katherine and me (by pen).

Right now Katherine, Florence and all the girls are on their way over to Auntie Lauel's for supper.  Desley is by Beth's side in the hospital.  I am heading back over there now.

...

As I was typing this I got a call from the oncologist at the hospital who said they are scheduling Beth for an examination tomorrow at the cancer clinic at the hospital to assess what would be needed for aggressive
treatment, should the biopsy results indicate cancer.  I asked him for a better sense of how long it will take to get those biopsy results... and he said he thinks about a week.  They just want to be prepared.

The Unexpected

I had a blog post in the works to update everyone on the Buddy Walk and how wonderful it was, but then the unexpected happened and now we are waiting. And praying.

My mom had gone to the ER over the weekend (you can read her account here) and was pronounced fine, but sick with the flu and sent home. Monday she went to see an ear/nose/throat specialist and he became concerned after finding several lumps in her neck and throat. Tonight they are performing a biopsy on each of these lumps so we can determine exactly what they are. The lumps in her neck are large and they are in the area of her lymph nodes. There are several nodules, including behind her tongue.

There is the possibility that these lumps were caused by inflammation from an infection, but given the size and appearance it would be "unusual" for them to be caused by just an infection. It is more likely that these are a growth of some sort. Dr. Hamid made sure that we understood that it could very well be cancer.

The doctor indicated that if it is simply inflammation from an infection, he should know right away during the procedure based on its appearance.  If they are growths, we will only know if it is benign or malignant from the biopsy.

We don't know how long the results will take, but will of course be updating everyone.

My mom has been put into isolation because she has the flu right now. This means that everyone has to put on a mask and gown when they go to see her and they are currently not allowing anyone under the age of 18 into the hospital because of H1N1, which means that Emily and Hannah are not allowed to see her.  Please be praying for them as this is, understandably, very difficult for both of them.

Thank you all for praying and for showing such support to the family during this time. Tony is currently at the hospital with her. Katherine is home for a few days to help with Emily & Hannah and stuff around the house. Mary may be able to go next week and spend a week or so with her. Then, of course, we are (thankfully) having Thanksgiving in Canada this year and we will be there in two weeks.

Daisy Chain

There is something called a daisy chain that Earl uses in the course of his musicianship. It connects all his pedals on his pedal board, uniting them and powering them. Individually, these pedals are cool and produce a myriad of effects. When they are connected via a daisy chain they can be combined easily and effortlessly and the whole of their sound is greater than the sum of their parts.

As we unite to pray for Daisy Merrick we are becoming a daisy prayer chain. The Lord hears our cries and we are amplified and used in special ways.

Last week, Britt sent out an emergency prayer request because Daisy had an adverse reaction during her chemotherapy appointment. Earl and I found out over the weekend that this was very severe. She became very swollen (three times her body size) and Britt was holding her fearing this was the moment he was going to lose her. It still brings tears to my eyes thinking of how his heart must have stopped.

Here is a recent update from the Pray for Daisy blog:

Thank you so much friends. We believe that your prayers have been powerful and effective. As we revealed a few days ago, Isaiah’s desk-mate at school got sick with the flu. What we did not reveal is that the doctor thought it was Swine Flu. Who knows… they don’t test unless you have to go to the hospital, so it is just a guess by the doctor.

Either way, it was alarming because if Daisy gets any form of the flu it would be very dangerous. So we pulled Isaiah out of school. He did have a low-grade fever for a while which is one of the symptoms of Swine Flu (and a lot of other things, of course), and he also had some of the other possible symptoms.

We had to move him to my the grandparent’s house to minimize the danger for daisy. After two days there, he has no fever today and is feeling great! Thank you for your prayers!

Additionally, Daisy’s white blood cell count and her platelet count have both gone up!! Praise the Lord! We really sense and believe that your prayers to God have sustained and protected us.

Tomorrow (Thursday), Daisy is supposed to have Chemo again. Last week she had a radical reaction to one of the medicines. It was a really scary moment and it seemed like we were close to losing her. It was horrific. Beyond expression. I really thought she was going to die right then. In light of that event, the doctors are still trying to decide how to proceed and we are concerned. Please pray that we and the doctors would have wisdom and know exactly what to do.

Also, she was very fearful of her Chemo treatments, because of the needle accessing her chest, before the horror of last week. Now, she can’t even imagine going back. Neither can we really. She really, and we really, need prayer not to be ruled by fear.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.

Philippians 4:6-8

6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

John 14:27 (Jesus speaking)

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

Temporary Home - Edited

This morning was day 2 of the OC Rescue Mission Running Club.  We may have settled on a name: Gunner's Runners.  One of the volunteers, Beth, brought her Weimaraner, Gunner, along for the runs. He is seven years old and in need of some exercise. A sweet dog we are all starting to fall in love with. Everyone was excited to be back out running this morning. It was cool and foggy this morning - pretty neat running weather. Everyone is already improving in their abilities. It was very neat to hear from various people that they have never done this before: "I can't believe I ran all three sets of 5 minute running this morning" and "We went 2 miles today!" There was a lot of excitement this morning!

Carrie Underwood's third album just came out today. I eagerly downloaded it this morning after the run and synced it to my iPhone and left for work. Exept, I forgot my headphones at home so I can't listen to it. But one of the main reasons I was so excited for this album is her song: Temporary Home. Temporary Home is a song about more than just foster kids, single mothers and dying grandfathers. It is about how this world is our temporary home and we are passing through to eternity. As much as I was excitedly waiting for her album to drop today, I am anticipating heaven so much more!

Tomorrow we are going to a luncheon at Olive Crest. My boss, Paul, is on the board of directors for Olive Crest. I am excited for this luncheon and so glad that our firm partners with such a great organization. Paul and his family serve as respite foster parents and have had numerous children through their home. Go to their website and check them out. Pray for them as they continue to serve those in need and pray for homes for all these children.

Running With A Mission

At the beginning of 2009, we revamped our work mission statement at the firm I work for. One arm of the firm we created was a charitable service committee. We meet once a month and have established multiple projects for the firm to take part in: food drive for the OC Rescue Mission, Buddy Walk for DSAOC, supplying Bibles for James 1:27 Ministries, and a running class with the OC Rescue Mission. We will have our own booth and play games at the Buddy Walk next Sunday. This should be a lot of fun, although contributions were down by 2/3 of last year's amount last I heard. These contributions fund the staff's salaries and are going towards building a pediatric clinic in the OC area. In case you feel so inclined, you can donate here.

Now, tomorrow morning, bright and early, I will be driving to the OC Rescue Mission and meeting up with 2 coworkers, a client of ours, and 18 to 20 "students" of the OC Rescue Mission Village of Hope. The Village of Hope is a one- to two-year program for individuals, families, and single parents who are currently homeless. They go through job training, education, counseling, and work at the VOH. One of the partners at my firm, Steve, thought it would be valuable to basically train 20 or so individuals to run a half-marathon. Tomorrow is our first day of training.

We will be spending four mornings a week for the next fourteen weeks working together as a team to prepare to run the Huntington Beach Half Marathon in February 2010. There are a number of ways we feel this will be so beneficial. First of all, the weekly encouragement of going farther and doing something you have never done before. Secondly, on the day of the race, everyone at the starting line is equal. We all put in the effort to train; we all are there with our shirts, shorts and shoes. There is no indicators of class or status. 15,000 people will be running this race. Finally, there is something for saying "I have run a half-marathon, 13.1 miles. What else can I do?" We are hoping to reinforce discipline and teamwork in each student. The director at VOH - Nathan Bates - said that this is the first time any group of volunteers has ever spent such a concentrated and long time with their students. He is thrilled at the idea of what type of ministry could take place.

So, at 6:20 tomorrow morning we begin. We will be taking video footage and pictures to update everyone along the way. Stay tuned!

Restore My Soul, Part II

Let's see... I last left you with the parenting session and pounding hearts...haha

The third session was by April Torres on Psalm 23:5.

You prepare a table before me 

in the presence of my enemies.  

You anoint my head with oil; 

my cup overflows.

April spoke on the refreshing the Lord provides us with.  He restores, rehabilitates, recoups, renovates and refreshes us. We are not just sheep to the Lord, but we are His daughters and His guests. The Lord provides the exact amount of luxury we need and sometimes that means that He restrains His hand so as to not overwhelm us. God intends to feed us even if we are surrounded and under attack.

And this next part leads up to confession number two, so pay close attention.

The Holy Spirit is our anointing now and He is the ultimate answer to our dryness. God refreshes us by filling our cups to overflowing. There is a true story of a shepherd traveling through the desert who happened upon an oasis. The family that lived there provided this shepherd with food and drink, they gave him rest and a way to refresh. The shepherd was so overcome with gratitude and he told the family that a simple thank you was not enough to express his thanksgiving. The patriarch told the shepherd, "We have a saying for this: my cup overflows."

In John 4, Jesus was hungry and tired after dealing with divisions, healing and teaching. He sat wearily at the well. His disciples returned and questioned why He wasn't taking time for himself and He said to them, "My nourishment comes from doing the will of God. Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest." He challenged the disciples thinking that they deserved a break. We don't deserve a break. We need to wake up and the time to work is now.

Her closing words were that when we repent we experience those times of refreshing.

And the Lord spoke to my heart that I had been living with an expectation that I "deserved" a break. That I could take it easy. That I was doing enough. How dare I think that I have earned a break from working the plow. How dare I ask for the Lord to help me redeem the time and then go to sleep. That is most definitely not the way to redeem the time. It is time to wake up! The fields are ripe for harvest. A sweet time of worship, communion, repentance, refreshing and a restoring of my soul took place that night after the teaching. My cup overflows.

The final teaching on Sunday morning was by my sweet friend, Emily Balli. She is a band wife, so we have lots in common and an unspoken bond. She also likes to make funny faces.

She taught on Psalm 23:6 and pressing on. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. She asked who has pursued us from day one. Jesus. Who is going to continue to pursue and follow and chase us all the days of our lives. Jesus.

The woman at the well. The woman caught in adultery. The leper. The centurion. All were pursued by Jesus.

When I allow Him to pursue me and turn to see Him something happens in those circumstances that overwhelm me. To gaze upon the face of Jesus is to walk on the very circumstances that made us fear. He is goodness and mercy. Let me repeat that, Jesus is the goodness and mercy that follows us all the days of our lives. Jesus demonstrated goodness and mercy to each of those people. He demonstrates it over and over to me.

The goodness and hope of our future. The first phase of His kingdom is to reign over my life, the second phase is universal.

Not that I have already attained or am already perfected, 

but I PRESS ON, that I may lay hold of that 

for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

Restore My Soul, Part I

What a weekend! This will be a long recap and I have a few confessions to make, so bear with me...

I was hesitant before leaving on this trip and talked with Katherine before I left about how I was worried I might end up being the fifth wheel of the group.  Her parting words were reminding me that I may be pleasantly surprised.  I left work on Friday afternoon shortly before 5pm expecting to hit at least 3 hours of traffic up to the mountain.  Before I knew it I was a mere 45 miles away from the conference center in Twin Peaks. 

I said to the Lord that He must have been answering someone's prayer for no traffic because I was going to get there in an hour and a half.  I arrived with enough time to go to the room and get settled in before dinner at 7pm.  The girls who were going to drive up earlier in the day arrived after me.  God parted the sea of traffic - which can at times seem more miraculous to us southern Californians than parting the Red Sea.

Friday night Kate Merrick spoke on how the Lord is our Shepherd and leads and cares for us and the peace that He imparts to His sheep.  Sherri Youngward led the worship settings.  (Confession number one) For a few reasons I was "bummed" she was leading worship.  Within five minutes I was so grateful she was there leading the worship.  Her songs and her "style" are very mellow and peaceful - which we're perfectly in line with the weekend.  That night she shared her song, Restore My Soul.  I highly encourage everyone to go listen to this (and buy it!) on her website.

After my crazy roommates kept me up way past my bedtime and I only got about 6 hours of sleep, I crawled out of bed and eagerly feasted upon eggs, sausage, french toast and coffee for breakfast. It was delicious. The next session was on the sovereignty of God - even in the valleys.  Yea though I walk through the valley - we walk because He leads us. He doesn't leave us in the valley, we don't run, hop, skip and jump through the valley, we WALK.  We consistenly go through the valley. Our Shepherd guides us through the valleys.  The valley is the place where there is abundant fruit and growth and the place where the water flows to.

The speaker used to lead groups through the Grand Tetons and she shared that once you got up to the top of the mountain, you had a great view, but you couldn't stay there more than a little while. She shared that it wasn't safe up there and nothing grows up there and paralleled this to our Christian life. We experience the most growth in the valley.  The valley can be rough, rocky, dry and full of despair, or it can be lush, fruitful, watered and joyful - it depends on who is leading you through the valley. Our Shepherd is sovereign and places the valleys in our lives for our benefit and growth - we need to trust His goodness and His mercy in those times.

The first workshop I attended was the marriage panel. Most of the questions asked and answered didn't directly apply to me, but helped me realize how grateful I am for my husband. I walked out thanking God for placing Earl in my life and granting me such grace by giving me a husband that a. loves the Lord, b. loves me, and c. has a heart of mercy - because I need it!

After the workshop and a delicious lunch we had free time.  I opted to go on the hike through the mountains.  It was beautiful, but worked my butt and thighs and I am hurting today. The next workshop I attended was the parenting class (mainly because I already attended the Bible study workshop in a prior year). The main point she was trying to get across was how we should be raising our children in order to shoot them out and release them for the Lord.

At this point, I'll hit the pause button and finish up the rest tomorrow. Be sure to come back, because it gets better and better!!

Pressing On

From the blog prayfordaisy.tumblr.com:

Daisy had her last radiation treatment today!! Praise the Lord for sustaining her through this phase!

After today Daisy will only need to go to the doctor for Chemo once a week instead if daily visits. Even today she is fearful of her next Chemo appointment. Please continue to pray with us for Daisy to be strong and courageous like Joshua!

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Retreating

This weekend I am heading up to the mountains to attend the Reality Carpinteria Women's Retreat.  I am so looking forward to this time to get away with to the beautiful San Bernardino mountains and spend a few days with friends going through Psalm 23 and relaxing and unwinding and restoring my soul.  After a few crazy months at work, I am thrilled that Earl is letting me go to my SECOND women's retreat this year. And I'm thrilled I won't have to miss half of Saturday due to work like I did with the first one this year. 

The weather should be absolutely gorgeous and there should be some beautiful fall colors on all the trees.  I will have one LONG drive after work fighting traffic, but hopefully I will be able to get up there before dinner is over.

So, until Sunday evening meditate on Psalm 23 and I'll be back to share what nuggets of wisdom I learned!

Pumpkin Weekend

This was the great pumpkin weekend.  It started with baking pumpkin pies - from SCRATCH! Like not from the can.  Pie was great and was pretty easy to make from start to finish.  Saturday afternoon we headed over to Tanaka Farm and picked out our pumpkin from the patch.  It was a HOT day - 85 degrees.  Despite the heat wave, we enjoyed our time.  On Sunday night we carved our pumpkin and placed him outside.  Now before we blew him out for the night, Earl suggested that we bring him inside overnight.  I was sure that he would be fine staying outside and told Earl to leave him out there.

Last night when I lit the candle I encountered a slug and then a couple hours later Earl saw roaches crawling all over the pumpkin.  I proceeded to plead that we save our little pumpkin and bring him inside, but Earl said he is now an outside pumpkin and he can't be brought inside.

Tonight we put him up on the ledge of our patio and we are hoping he's "safe" up there.
 

Fall Disasters

Yesterday in my glee that we conquered October 15th I decided that, with all my free time on my hands, I was going to make a pumpkin pie from pumpkins and bread from scratch.  I searched and scoured the web for recipes (Martha, Pioneer Woman, Tasty Kitchen, Angie) and I found a recipe I was willing to try.  I drafted my grocery shopping list and left work around five to go get my stuff.

For dinner, we had pan-fried pork chops with smashed potatoes - delicious!  Then Earl helped me clean the kitchen and I got started making my bread.

"Oops!" I called out.  "I put 2 cups white flour instead of 2 cups wheat flour."

So I started over.

"Oops! I was supposed to let the yeast, honey and butter mixture sit and NOT stir it for the last ten minutes like I've been doing."

Then, as it is mixing, "This doesn't look quite right."

So, needless to say, I think my stirring the yeast, honey and butter ruined my sponge and therefore my bread didn't rise or become dough-y. I have attached a couple pictures of the bread debacle, but I will soldier on!! And I also included pictures of my fall table decorations, because those I rocked!

Free at Last, Free at Last!

Ahhh.... Earl is soundly sleeping (and snoring!) next to me.  It's almost 11pm on Wednesday, October 14th, and I am getting ready to drift off to sleep without waking up off and on throughout the night because my mind is still going when it's supposed to be sleeping.

Hello, October 15th.  You came, we conquered!

I checked my emails at class tonight and two of the last three projects on my list were marked off as completed and the other one is sitting on my desk waiting for my approval and a partner's signature. And then, my friends, I am done with the 2008 tax season.

Oh, 2009 tax season is a mere two months away? At least I'll enjoy it while it lasts!!

Here are a couple pictures from Earl's trip to Miami.  Is this boy not just so precious?!

Ignorance is Bliss

Usually I don't agree with such a statement, but after yesterday's lunch conversation I am loving it. 

There was a time when I knew every bit of celebrity gossip and juice. And I hated it.  Earl hated it.  Why in the world did I care if Britney's weave was looking like a rat's nest or that Nicole Richie was having a girl or that Jennifer Aniston really didn't hate Angelina.  I mean, these people mean NOTHING to me.  And yet, I was drawn to the websites and magazines. It was like a plague.  I couldn't shake it.

Fast forward about a year and many days of praying and yesterday at lunch we were discussing baseball and I was asking questions ("What's a goat?" "How many games in the series?") and then someone mentioned a joke from SNL about A-Rod and Kate Hudson.  I knew they were dating, but I didn't know she is supposedly with child.  I didn't know that Michael Buble has some celebrity girlfriend. I just DIDN'T KNOW! 

And I am still smiling because I don't have a clue.

In other news, it rained last night...I am hoping for some more. It's been MONTHS and MONTHS since it's rained out here.

Sealing the Deal

Tonight at dinner, my friend Christy asked me what Earl and I had in common when we were dating and what was it that sealed the deal.  To be honest, we didn't really date, so the things we have in common now are different than before we got married, but I do know what sealed the deal.

This picture reminds me of Earl's love of Jenni. Watching him interact in a real, honest way and develop a relationship and friendship with Jenni showed me his heart of mercy and compassion. And I knew I could forever pledge myself to someone who gladly accepted every piece of my life - and my whole family.

Earl loves a good adrenaline rush. But I love this picture because this is a part of who he is - the daredevil in him.  The guy that has more scars than anyone I know with all the stories that go behind them. I love to trace those scars and hear the stories.

Earl flew out for my college graduation.  He planned the trip and tricked me.  And utterly surprised me.  I knew when I spotted him walking towards me before my graduation that he loved me enough to go through all that and I knew that I was worth it to him. Earl has been a part of certain important events of my life and the fact that he just KNOWS those things, first hand, gives me comfort.

Earl and I joke.  A lot.  We are sure that no one else has as much fun as we do.  He makes me smile, laugh and happy.  He calms me and encourages me.  And he loves my funny faces.

And this picture is from our wedding day.  Because the man that stole my heart almost 7 years ago still has a firm grasp on it and I am glad to let him have every part of me.

Happy birthday, my love.  Keep having fun, but please come home soon!!

And Happy Birthday, Tony!! Hope you have a wonderful day!!!

Where, oh where did my sanity go???

I hate October 15th.

I thought I hated April 15th, but then October 15th came around. 

I hate October 15th.

This is the last deadline. El fin. It doesn't help that I am taking two of the hardest accounting courses (cost accounting and intermediate accounting, thank you very much).  While I am thrilled that Earl is in Miami celebrating the Mergelsberg birthday month (and if they think I can plan my future child's birth to fall in October they are crazy!), but I like him home to console me when I get home from a long stressful day at work.  You know, how he brings me my apple juice and waits on me hand and foot. Like I used to make my sisters do.

So, I am excited that October 15th is almost over.  I am just hoping I can hold on to a few brain cells until then.

The Power of Prayer

So Katherine has been praying and praying for the Twins and, whaddya know, 12 innings and one CRAZY game later, they are in the playoffs!  I was busy working working working while the game was going on and the men in the office were in the break room cheering, whooping and generally making me cranky because of all their noise. I was probably more cranky that I am so stressed than the fact that they were being loud.  But this is my least favorite time in the office.  The price of not *loving* baseball.

In all seriousness, prayer works. Not just because we believe and we hope and we persist.  It works because there is a loving, kind, generous, good God on the other side of the line who cares for His creation and His children.  We have been praying HARD for 12 days for Daisy and she has a lifetime ahead of her, but right now, I am encouraged by two pictures up here.

I wish I could post them up here myself, but I am still lacking certain technical skills.  But Daisy is looking good.  And I know the reason.  It's because prayer made to a living God is answered.  In 1 Kings 18 it is clearly shown the difference between praying to gods and the true and living God.

So now I am overjoyed to tears at the progress Daisy has made.  I am in anguish over what her little body will encounter over the next few weeks and how she will have to daily go to the hospital where she never wants to be again. But above all, I am grateful that my God hears my cries and that He cares and that He is moved with compassion to act on our behalf.

Recovering

In lieu of any words, since we are both wiped out from the concert, here are a few pictures.

Waiting for the concert to start. We were able to get great seats - less than ten rows from the stage, in the left section.

Brad at the center stage walkout - this pic is from my seat.

I walked to the aisle and walked up to the stage - I was maybe 10 feet from him when I got this shot.

We left while he was finishing up - here I am with him behind me!

We had a great time. It was worth every penny. He really put on a fantastic show and did all the songs I love. And, even better than my dancing was the dancing of a man in front in us.

Swaying to the Music

This man will be serenading me tomorrow night.  I'll be sitting in the front section swooning and swaying to his sweet melodies and swift playing.

His wife may be with him.  You know, the knockout from Father of the Bride and According to Jim.

And I'll be bringing this guy with me.

Yes, I swoon daily. For real.

We have been waiting for Brad Paisley to come to Southern California for over a year.  Here we are just a day away from great seats with a guy who sings, writes and plays guitar like a mad man!  I have been listening to his albums for the last week prepping for the concert - singing along, practicing for the moment when he calls me up on stage to join him for the final number.  Okay, so maybe I'll just be singing along at the top of my lungs and Earl will be the only one watching, but he loves to watch me sing along at concerts. It's my dancing that embarrasses him.

PS - Daisy is home from the hospital and starting fourteen consecutive days of radiation treatments on Thursday.  She looks great (from the pictures) and they say her spirits are pretty well.  Please keep praying for the whole family.