Everlasting Peace

Clearly my blogging track record is pretty sad, but more so in the last few months.  Life is not what it was.  And yet, I can't help but think that she is so much better off.  If you have read my posts in the past, you know that there is a little girl, Daisy Love Merrick, who has been fighting cancer since 2009.  She was diagnosed shortly before Mommy was and she was declared cancer free only to have it reoccur soon after.  She is undergoing intense chemotherapy and the family is looking into other treatment options.  The tumor is gone, but they are fighting any remaining cancer cells.

Yesterday her dad posted a prayer request on Facebook. 

Daisy's blood counts are really low from chemo. She is bleeding out of her mouth A LOT tonight. Please pray that it stops.

My heart breaks for them and I am grateful.  We are not fighting this dreadful disease anymore. We aren't worrying about this bump or that ache. The hospital visits, doctor appointments, filling prescriptions, tests and biopsies, tube feedings - it has all ended. 
 

We have peace and comfort.  While other things in this life continue to worry me and I still ache and hurt and miss, I have peace.

 

She is safe in His arms. Her pain is gone. Her reward has come.

Jump Right In

Okay, too much to try to update everyone on the last month of activity in the Mergelsberg household, so let's just jump right in.

Today I am ...

... not that motivated at work

... looking forward to my classical pilates mat class tonight at YogaWorks

... enjoying listening to the Wednesday night studies podcast from my church

... missing my sisters and thinking about past Sister Trips and what we might do this year

... proud of my sissy Emily for doing so much better in school despite life being so hard

... praying for little Milly Fiorito who is sick and in the hospital (and her parents and brothers)

love love love,

Melinda

Thanks Giving

Happy Thanksgiving!

This Thanksgiving I'm grateful for my husband who makes me laugh and makes my day. He completes me and I am better because of him.

I am thankful for my family that stays together and continues to come together. Everyone working together to pick up and soldier on. Making new memories and relishing the joyous times we've enjoyed in the past.

I am indebted to friends who hold us up - emotionally and physically. Friends that call us, take us to lunch and dinner, make us get out of the house and understand when we stay in. 

Most of all, I'm thankful, grateful and eternally indebted to Jesus.  His gift and sacrifice makes us look to the future with hope. Hope for today, hope for tomorrow and hope for heaven. 

Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.

Hebrews 13:15

One Month Later

It has been one month since my mom passed away.  October 8, 2010 our lives changed. In reality, our lives changed in November 2009 when we first received the cancer diagnosis.  While we didn't know the trajectory that single bit of information was going to take us on, God knew. Before the word cancer was so intimately a part of our everyday vocabulary He knew what would be. 

It's crazy to think that even then He was preparing us.  But He was.

One day I'll write about that day and the days leading up to it - just not today.

I read Matthew 25 this morning and the following devotional from C.H. Spurgeon.

The Magnitude of Grace

"My grace is sufficient for thee; for My strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Our weakness should be prized as making room for divine strength. We might never have known the power of grace if we had not felt the weakness of nature. Blessed be the LORD for the thorn in the flesh, and the messenger of Satan, when they drive us to the strength of God.

This is a precious word from our LORD's own lip. It has made the writer laugh for joy. God's grace enough for me! I should think it is. Is not the sky enough for the bird and the ocean enough for the fish? The All-Sufficient is sufficient for my largest want. He who is sufficient for earth and heaven is certainly able to meet the case of one poor worm like me.

Let us, then, fall back upon our God and His grace. If He does not remove our grief, He will enable us to bear it. His strength shall be poured into us till the worm shall thresh the mountains, and a nothing shall be victor over all the high and mighty ones. It is better for us to have God's strength than our own; for if we were a thousand times as strong as we are, it would amount to nothing in the face of the enemy; and if we could be weaker than we are, which is scarcely possible, yet we could do all things through Christ.

Snuggliest

Hannah is one of the snuggliest girls you will ever meet.  She loves to snuggle her mommy, her sisters, her grandma, her hamsters - she just loves to snuggle. 

And we love to snuggle with her. 

Hannah, thanks for always being willing to sit and hug someone when they are sad or happy.  It is a rare gift to be able to be with someone when they need you and not to have to "do" or "say" anything. 

I'm praying you have a wonderful birthday today and a great party tonight.  We love you and are glad our presents are there even if we can't be.  Have fun at school pictures today!! Love you lots and lots.

You Are My Sunshine

Emily, you and I have been wrapped up in songs your whole life.  When you were a little baby crying because you didn't want your nap, I would sneak into your room, pull your Simba's tail and it would play it's song. Then if you still weren't asleep yet, I would sing lullabies into your ear.

In Homestead, I would sing Amazing Grace and His Grace Covers Me as you were falling asleep. Even then you loved sleeping on your own so you could get enough sleep.

During thunderstorms we would sing Rich Mullins songs to distract you.

It will always be my first reaction to comfort you and to love on you.  I love you and I wish I could be there today for your birthday. But no matter what, whenever you need me I will be there to sing songs into your ear.

Hey, guess what? You're FIFTEEN!! Not almost, but really there!! Praying for a year that shows you again and again that God's grace is amazing and covering you. That you will see His strength is sufficient and is what will be carrying you through the good and the bad. Love you lots and lots and lots and lots...

Daniel 3 and What It Means To Us

In light of my mom being in the hospital last week and us facing some harder faith moments right now, it's time to revisit the promises God has given us.

On December 7th, Mommy and Tony met with Dr. Kerr in Winnipeg to discuss what treatment plans we would be facing. December 7th I read my daily reading and it was Daniel 1 through 3. Then during lunch I decided to listen to a video testimony by a friend from Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, Romy Godding. Romy had gone through a battle with cancer and seen God heal her. In the video she shared how God used Daniel 3 to encourage her throughout her battle.

⁸ Therefore at that time certain Chaldeans came forward and accused the Jews. ⁹ They spoke and said to King Nebuchadnezzar, “O king, live forever! ¹⁰ You, O king, have made a decree that everyone who hears the sound of the horn, flute, harp, lyre, and psaltery, in symphony with all kinds of music, shall fall down and worship the gold image; ¹¹and whoever does not fall down and worship shall be cast into the midst of a burning fiery furnace. ¹²There are certain Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego; these men, O king, have not paid due regard to you. They do not serve your gods or worship the gold image which you have set up.” 

¹³ Then Nebuchadnezzar, in rage and fury, gave the command to bring Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. So they brought these men before the king.¹⁴ Nebuchadnezzar spoke, saying to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the gold image which I have set up? ¹⁵ Now if you are ready at the time you hear the sound of the horn, flute, harp, lyre, and psaltery, in symphony with all kinds of music, and you fall down and worship the image which I have made, good!But if you do not worship, you shall be cast immediately into the midst of a burning fiery furnace. And who is the god who will deliver you from my hands?” 

¹⁶ Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. ¹⁷ If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliverus from your hand, O king.¹⁸ But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.”

¹⁹ Then Nebuchadnezzar was full of fury, and the expression on his face changed toward Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. He spoke and commanded that they heat the furnace seven times more than it was usually heated. ²⁰ And he commanded certain mighty men of valor whowere in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, and cast theminto the burning fiery furnace. ²¹ Then these men were bound in their coats, their trousers, their turbans, and their other garments, and were cast into the midst of the burning fiery furnace.²² Therefore, because the king’s command was urgent, and the furnace exceedingly hot, the flame of the fire killed those men who took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. ²³ And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, fell down bound into the midst of the burning fiery furnace. 

²⁴ Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?” 

They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” 

²⁵ “Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.”

²⁶ Then Nebuchadnezzar went near the mouth of the burning fiery furnace andspoke, saying, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, servants of the Most High God, come out, and comehere.” Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego came from the midst of the fire. ²⁷ And the satraps, administrators, governors, and the king’s counselors gathered together, and they saw these men on whose bodies the fire had no power; the hair of their head was not singed nor were their garments affected, and the smell of fire was not on them. 

²⁸ Nebuchadnezzar spoke, saying, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, who sent His Angel and delivered His servants who trusted in Him, and they have frustrated the king’s word, and yielded their bodies, that they should not serve nor worship any god except their own God! 

I was pretty encouraged to read Daniel 3 and hear it again.  Later that day I was talking to Mommy and the doctors had given her this information:

"After both doctors did a physical exam (including another scope) Dr Kerr repeated that the case is complex because the tumor is large and in an awkward position. He explained cases like mine come before a committee at the hospital.

The committee meets weekly and my case will be discussed on December 17th. The committee consists of experts from different disciplines. At this "tumor conference" they will review all of my film, scans, scopes and test results. After discussion, they will decide together whether there will be surgery, and if so the exact nature of the surgery. They will also discuss the probability of a cure and the likelihood of preserving function (eating and speaking.) 

As Dr. Kerr had not yet seen all of the material from Thunder Bay (e.g. my MRI film) he could not say definitively if there will be even be surgery. In fact, he said… right now, it is 50/50 they will do the surgery.

If they do the surgery, it will be radical. A major concern is preserving function of the tongue, specifically eating and speaking. He said they may need to remove as much as 75% of the tongue; in which case I would have trouble eating and speaking. I would not likely be able to eat, and would receive nutrition from a tube. Speaking would be difficult. If a person knew me and I was able to use visual cues I probably could be understood. I would not be understood over the telephone. This partial restoration of function will be achieved by reconstructive surgery using tissue from my leg."

This was pretty discouraging, but I told her about my reading and that I heard the same scripture again and she realized that she read Daniel 3 in not one, but TWO different devotionals that day.  As I reflected on this some more I gained an understanding that on the day that the doctors in Winnipeg were sharing with us their plan of treatment, God showed us His plan of treatment.

I sent out an email updating family and friends about the situation and included the scripture references at the bottom of the email. Two days later I received a response from Steve, the drummer in Shachah, and he read Daniel 3 on the same day he read my email.  His email said "God is faithful even when it seems like we are about to be burned up."

So here we were, just a few weeks into this cancer treatment and cancer story and God revealed Daniel 3 to us in five different places in just a matter of days.  It is amazing how He orchestrates the timing of all these things to coincide to show His love for us.

Tomorrow I will include the second portion of this, but I have to get to bed so I can wake up in 5 hours and run six miles.