Bruised to Comfort Others

Earl and I went to UCI Medical Center today during my lunch break.  A friend's mom (who is also a friend) was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  She was supposed to have surgery today to remove the cancer.  I texted my friend this morning and asked if I could come by during my lunch break.  I know our family usually could use the extra support while we were sitting waiting around - at the very least, it gave us new conversation topics. When we arrived, both she and her dad were upstairs getting an update from the doctors.

Forty minutes later they came downstairs and puffy eyes quickly signaled it was time for us to leave.  We apologized and tried to slip by them, but her dad stopped us and shared with the few friends waiting that once the doctors began the surgery they discovered the cancer was also present in her liver.  We hugged them and left them to the decisions, conversations, and tears I knew would be coming.

An hour later I texted her and she wrote back that if there was anyone who understood, she knew I did.

I knew that one day I would be in this position - comforting someone else going through the loss of someone to cancer. Situations and trials are not wasted in God's economy. He orchestrates our lives to help and support each other. This is actually the third time I have done it since Mommy's passing. But it is the first time the situation so closely mirrored our situation.

So, these are the things I am praying for them: to have faith to believe God still performs miracles, to put their hope in His unfailing love and His mercy, to trust His goodness, to have joy in the days to come, to learn about heaven and encourage each other with eternity. I pray that they would love deeper and continued trust, faith and hope for the next situation. And I pray for comforting arms in the middle of the night, peace when they don't understand, and meaningful time.

Happy Birthday!

Tonight on the phone you said you don't like to make a big deal out of your birthday, but if we want to we can. But you, my sweet little sister, are worth celebrating and making a big deal about.  So in honor of your twentieth birthday, here is a list of some of my favorite memories and characteristics of your life:

1. You re-cracking your head when I was babysitting you after school one day. There was so much blood all over the room. Who knew one little head could bleed so much?!

2. You loved your Simba doll. I remember you wearing a sunflower outfit with the little floppy hat, sucking your fingers and carrying that Simba doll.

3. You have the most pure smile. It lights up a room and the joy that sparkles in your eyes is amazing.

4. You led a classmate to the Lord in your Sunday school class at CCMiami at the age of 4. Your love for the Lord has always been evident. 

5. When you were in middle school you reached out to others even though your personal world was rocky.

6. You work so hard to make others feel celebrated, but hate the attention on yourself - but that just makes us want to pour more out :o)

7. You never give up on friends or family or the Lord. Even when we blow it, let you down and don't meet your expectations.

8. I remember building camps and forts on Saturday nights with you. Eating pork and beans and watching movies.

9. When we went on our sister trips, you did a great job of being a better me. You helped keep everyone moving forward, but did it with more grace than I could ever have.

10. You treat your sisters to all kinds of cool things - like going to Mission Island to look at deer.

11. You drove up and down Minnesota for a year so you could be by Mommy's side even though it wore you to the bone.

12. You stop to look for corn fields to run through just because.

13. You sing worship songs with me when my voice breaks from the tears.

14. I have this one picture of you from the 5810 house when you were sitting in the tree branches with a bandana on your head. It's one of my most favorite pictures in the world and it reminds me of you being little, cute and cuddly. Don't worry - you're still cute and cuddly ;o)

15. I have another picture where I am kissing your forehead and then sun is shining through us. I smile when I see it. You are so precious.

16. When your little sisters can't fall asleep at night, you crawl into bed with them.

17. Come to think of it, you never turn down a reason to go to sleep....hmmm....

18. You are hardworking and yet full of grace when others don't work as hard.

19. Remember that time you picked Earl and me up from the airport and we drove back to TBay with Earl *smelling* up the car the whole way? Fun times. 

20. Remember all those late night phone calls, staying up late talking together, sharing our hearts, working through issues, commiserating with and encouraging each other? Best times.

I love you KBelle. You are my Svenska. I am so glad you were born. I am glad to celebrate your life. Our lives would truly be incomplete without you. Thanks for being one of my best friends. I hope you have a great birthday and that you feel loved and celebrated. Because your worth it.

Everlasting Peace

Clearly my blogging track record is pretty sad, but more so in the last few months.  Life is not what it was.  And yet, I can't help but think that she is so much better off.  If you have read my posts in the past, you know that there is a little girl, Daisy Love Merrick, who has been fighting cancer since 2009.  She was diagnosed shortly before Mommy was and she was declared cancer free only to have it reoccur soon after.  She is undergoing intense chemotherapy and the family is looking into other treatment options.  The tumor is gone, but they are fighting any remaining cancer cells.

Yesterday her dad posted a prayer request on Facebook. 

Daisy's blood counts are really low from chemo. She is bleeding out of her mouth A LOT tonight. Please pray that it stops.

My heart breaks for them and I am grateful.  We are not fighting this dreadful disease anymore. We aren't worrying about this bump or that ache. The hospital visits, doctor appointments, filling prescriptions, tests and biopsies, tube feedings - it has all ended. 
 

We have peace and comfort.  While other things in this life continue to worry me and I still ache and hurt and miss, I have peace.

 

She is safe in His arms. Her pain is gone. Her reward has come.

Jump Right In

Okay, too much to try to update everyone on the last month of activity in the Mergelsberg household, so let's just jump right in.

Today I am ...

... not that motivated at work

... looking forward to my classical pilates mat class tonight at YogaWorks

... enjoying listening to the Wednesday night studies podcast from my church

... missing my sisters and thinking about past Sister Trips and what we might do this year

... proud of my sissy Emily for doing so much better in school despite life being so hard

... praying for little Milly Fiorito who is sick and in the hospital (and her parents and brothers)

love love love,

Melinda

Thanks Giving

Happy Thanksgiving!

This Thanksgiving I'm grateful for my husband who makes me laugh and makes my day. He completes me and I am better because of him.

I am thankful for my family that stays together and continues to come together. Everyone working together to pick up and soldier on. Making new memories and relishing the joyous times we've enjoyed in the past.

I am indebted to friends who hold us up - emotionally and physically. Friends that call us, take us to lunch and dinner, make us get out of the house and understand when we stay in. 

Most of all, I'm thankful, grateful and eternally indebted to Jesus.  His gift and sacrifice makes us look to the future with hope. Hope for today, hope for tomorrow and hope for heaven. 

Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.

Hebrews 13:15

One Month Later

It has been one month since my mom passed away.  October 8, 2010 our lives changed. In reality, our lives changed in November 2009 when we first received the cancer diagnosis.  While we didn't know the trajectory that single bit of information was going to take us on, God knew. Before the word cancer was so intimately a part of our everyday vocabulary He knew what would be. 

It's crazy to think that even then He was preparing us.  But He was.

One day I'll write about that day and the days leading up to it - just not today.

I read Matthew 25 this morning and the following devotional from C.H. Spurgeon.

The Magnitude of Grace

"My grace is sufficient for thee; for My strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Our weakness should be prized as making room for divine strength. We might never have known the power of grace if we had not felt the weakness of nature. Blessed be the LORD for the thorn in the flesh, and the messenger of Satan, when they drive us to the strength of God.

This is a precious word from our LORD's own lip. It has made the writer laugh for joy. God's grace enough for me! I should think it is. Is not the sky enough for the bird and the ocean enough for the fish? The All-Sufficient is sufficient for my largest want. He who is sufficient for earth and heaven is certainly able to meet the case of one poor worm like me.

Let us, then, fall back upon our God and His grace. If He does not remove our grief, He will enable us to bear it. His strength shall be poured into us till the worm shall thresh the mountains, and a nothing shall be victor over all the high and mighty ones. It is better for us to have God's strength than our own; for if we were a thousand times as strong as we are, it would amount to nothing in the face of the enemy; and if we could be weaker than we are, which is scarcely possible, yet we could do all things through Christ.

Snuggliest

Hannah is one of the snuggliest girls you will ever meet.  She loves to snuggle her mommy, her sisters, her grandma, her hamsters - she just loves to snuggle. 

And we love to snuggle with her. 

Hannah, thanks for always being willing to sit and hug someone when they are sad or happy.  It is a rare gift to be able to be with someone when they need you and not to have to "do" or "say" anything. 

I'm praying you have a wonderful birthday today and a great party tonight.  We love you and are glad our presents are there even if we can't be.  Have fun at school pictures today!! Love you lots and lots.